7 Ways to Move Past Hate

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

7 Ways to Move Past Hate

Martin Luther King once said that “Hate is too great a burden to bear”, and this proves to be true even after a great loss. We all know that sometimes don’t work out – marriages, intimate relationships, and friendships.

Hate is most often steeped in the idea that we have been personally wronged by the opposite party but harboring these thoughts and spending time with them weighs us down.

There is good news though: you have the power to change the way you think, react and deal with these emotions.

As attorneys who handle divorce, separation, and child custody cases every day, we often find ourselves lending an ear to clients about their feelings as well.

Today, we will share 7 simple ways to move past your hate and tolift the burden that it brings.

Tip # 1: Consider the WHY.

            We should always first consider why we feel that this person has wronged us. In considering why, we should ask ourselves whether the offense was truly harsh enough to cause an intense dislike for that person. If not, this should be reason enough to lift the burden.

Tip # 2: Keep yourself busy.

            Find things that make you happy and go after that happiness. Get back to your yoga class, call that old colleague for lunch.  Do whatever it is you need to get back your happy, so that you are not weighed down by hate.


Tip # 3: Change your outlook.

Sometimes in anger we look at a situation through frost colored glasses. Changing our entire outlook on a situation tends to change our attitude. When you change your attitude about a situation you change the attitude of your heart. If you can do that, you will be more willing to forgive and lift the heavy burden of hate.

Tip # 4: Look on the bright side.

We know that losing a relationship with someone you’ve put your trust in is especially hard because it can feel like you’re losing a piece of yourself. But, don’t forget that this also means that you’ve removed someone from your inner circle who probably didn’t deserve your trust- someone who didn’t have your back. Now that this potentially toxic person is out of your life, you will have time and space to truly live your best life. Bounce back stronger than ever! You now have space and time to heal yourself from the wreckage that was that relationship. This also means that you’ve cleared space for someone who deserves your time and your love .

Tip # 5: Just FAKE it.

When you fake happiness and contentment for long enough, the chemicals in your brain can change. Eventually, you will actually start to believe what you’re showing on the outside and then you’ll start to feel it.

Tip # 5: Practice gratitude. 

Any time you catch yourself focusing on the hate or anger, immediately stop and try to name 3 things you’re grateful for in that moment. At the end of your gratitude list, you will have changed your focus and let go of the hate you were feeling in that moment. Now, you have regained control over your day and can move forward in peace. You can do this as many times as you need to throughout your day. The more you practice gratitude, the less control hate will have over you.

Tip # 6: Write a Letter.

For a lot of people, strong emotions are not something they like to keep to themselves. Before you upset your divorce attorney by posting all about your feelings on Facebook or sharing nasty quotes about your ex on Instagram, write it down in private. Before you tell your friends for the 16th time how you feel about it, write it down in private. Before you call your mom for the 8th time today, write it down in private. Write a letter addressed to that person and write down the feelings you may not have been able to express to that person directly. It allows you to safely deal with your emotions in a safe space while releasing the weight that is hate.

Note: If I am your divorce lawyer, I will always tell you NOT to send the letter to anyone.

Tip # 7: Forgive

My mother once said that “forgiveness is for you, not for the other person.” This was after a nasty break up. At the time, I could not fathom the idea of forgiving my ex. She was right. I stopped thinking about how terrible he was or wondering if he would ever change. Through forgiveness, I was able to refocus on my goals and my life. Instead of focusing on my hate, forgiveness allowed me to move on and make sure history didn’t repeat itself.

5 Things You Can Do To Reduce Litigation Stress

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

Litigation is stressful. We often talk to clients who are experiencing some of the most difficult times of their lives. What can you do to help minimize the stress of handling legal issues?

 

  • Communicate with your lawyer. As lawyers, we are usually pretty busy but that will not stop us from an addressing an issue, question, or concern of our clients. You should always feel free to call or email your attorney and relax knowing that we will get back to you as soon as we are able.
  • Take notes. When you are meeting with your lawyer, it makes sense to take notes, right? What about those times in the middle of the night? Or when you are working on things related to your case on the weekend? It is often helpful to dedicate a notebook to you case and jot down thoughts and questions as they come to you. Then you can share these notes with your attorney when the need arises.
  • Be organized. Whether in paper or electronically, work out a system to stay organized. Place documents in file folders by topic. Put things in date order. Keep it all in one place.
  • Keep everything. It is never fun to have to back track and find documents. It can also sometimes cost additional money. When you have documents, keep them until you are sure that you will not need them.
  • Bring it with you. Too often clients and potential clients come to our office to meet with the attorney and do not bring necessary documentation with them. It is better to bring something and not need it than to come to a meeting and not be able to do everything because you are missing documents.
  • Set limits. It can often feel like litigation takes over your life. You can set boundaries for litigation in your life by doing things such as setting aside specific time to work on your case or making certain days “litigation free” days. While it may feel like litigation is over burdensome, remind yourself to set limits.

Trust me we all struggle to do some of the things above. If you do not believe me, you should check out the front seat of my car that is usually covered in all the things that accumulate in a day! Hopefully some of these tips will enable you to stress less and feel prepared to assist the attorney in your case.

Lawyers for Young Adults – Our Firm Helping Foster Kids

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

Attorneys Autumn Hancock and Rachel Bennett recently attended the Lawyers for Young Adults Pro Bono Project Continuing Legal Education Seminar. The seminar provided instruction and guidance on assisting young adults who are aging out of the foster care system. These young folks are often entitled to living assistance, payment for college courses, and other opportunities but it can be tricky to navigate the systems that provide these benefits.

Hancock Law Firm is committed to providing pro bono services to members of our community who need but cannot afford legal representation. The under-represented youth aging out of the Foster Care System are particularly important to both Autumn and Rachel because each attorney has a personal connection to this group. Autumn has worked with at-risk youth in the past and Rachel’s father was a child in Foster Care in his youth.

The Firm is excited to engage in assisting young people to get a great start on adulthood and ensure that they receive all benefits that they are entitled to. Stay tuned as we look forward to sharing our exciting stories in this field of law!

Why Adoption Matters: A Lawyer’s Story

Posted on , updated on by admin

I remember the first time my Dad told me he was adopted. I was not quite old enough or wise enough to really understand what he meant at the time but I was savvy enough to know that being adopted at the age of 13 was somewhat unusual. My grandparents on my Dad’s side were older than my other grandparents but that did not stop them from being amazing. My grandmother taught me how to play the piano, how to appreciate and cook gourmet foods, how to appreciate afternoon tea and fancy china dishes, and much more.

Adoption has shaped my life. I would not have been successful in school and been able to develop a career as a professor, lawyer, and firm administrator without my Dad. He would likely not be the man he is today without his adoptive parents. He was raised by abusive parents who frequently put him on a train between Tarpon Springs and Boston, by himself, because neither of them wanted to parent him. He went from foster homes to The Children’s Home Society in Jacksonville.

That is where his life changed. He met my grandparents. He was adopted at thirteen – with all of the strife that comes with being a teenage boy. He was shown unconditional love and support. He was taught discipline. He was given stability and a place to flourish. He went on to have a successful career in banking and church administration but the thing that is most impressive to me is that he became the greatest Dad in the world.

Despite all of the odds against him, my Dad thrived in his adopted home and was able to take his experiences – good and bad – and use them to shape his life into something wonderful. Adoption changes lives in real ways.

Hancock Law Firm is proud to work with families seeking to adopt children and we know how lucky we are to be a small part of a process that has real power to change lives.

As told by Rachel Bennett, a lawyer who was shaped by adoption.

Why You Have a Right to an Attorney

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

Why You Have a Right to an Attorney

Did you know that prior to 1963 no one had a right to a criminal attorney? Only those who could afford to hire their own criminal defense attorney received representation. Fifty-five years ago this month, Clarence Earl Gideon’s case was decided by the United States Supreme Court. Gideon was accused of a burglary at the Bay Harbor Pool Room near Panama City, Florida. Without counsel, he was tried, convicted, and sentenced to five years in prison.

From his prison cell, Gideon filed paperwork with the Florida Supreme Court asking for review of his case. The Florida Supreme Court did hear his case but determined that he had been fairly tried and convicted even without having a lawyer to represent him. Gideon then filed paperwork with the United States Supreme Court. This review of his case went a bit differently. The United State Supreme Court decided that Gideon, and by extension other criminal defendants, were entitled to representation in criminal cases.

Gideon had a new trial and was found not guilty of the burglary charge. His case had far-reaching effects. Across the country, the legal community had to figure out a way to abide by the Supreme Court’s ruling in Gideon’s case. In Florida, this led to the development of the Florida Public Defender system, which provides attorney’s counsel to criminal defendants at no cost to them.

The National Advocates Announces Autumn N. Hancock as One of Its Top 40 Under 40

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

Hancock Law Firm PLLC is pleased to announce that Autumn N. Hancock, Esq. has been selected for inclusion into The National Advocates: Top 40 under 40 in Florida, an honor given to only a select group of attorneys. Membership in this exclusive organization is by invitation only and is extended exclusively to those individuals who exemplify superior qualifications, results and leadership. Based on a evaluation of Ms. Hancock’s qualifications, she is being honored based on her performance as an exceptional attorney, a leader in advocacy, and her consistent record of proven results for her clients. Ms. Hancock is specifically being honored for her work in Matrimonial and Family Law and her work in Wills, Trusts, and Estate Law. 

The National Advocates is a professional organization comprised of America’s top attorneys who have demonstrated exceptional qualifications in the following practice areas: Matrimonial and Family Law, Bankruptcy Law, Social Security Disability Law, Employment Law, Immigration Law, and Wills, Trusts and Estate Law. The organization provides accreditation to these distinguished attorneys and also provides essential legal news, information, and continuing education to lawyers across the United States.

With the selection of Autumn N. Hancock, Esq. by The National Advocates: Top 40 Under 40, Ms. Hancock has shown that she exemplifies superior qualifications, results for her clients, and leadership skills as an advocate. The selection process for this elite honor is based on a multi-phase evaluation of uniformly applied criteria including third party research, peer nominations, client contact and reviews, and case results. As The National Advocates: Top 40 Under 40 is an essential source of information for advocates and attorneys throughout the nation, the final result of this selection process is a credible and comprehensive list of the most outstanding advocates chosen to represent their state.

To learn more, feel free to contact our office at 727-222-0529.

We Were the First Paramedics at Pulse Nightclub

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

We Were the First Paramedics at Pulse Nightclub. We’d Trained for Mass Shootings, and Now the Deadliest Ever Was Happening.
“We weren’t even supposed to be there.”

Joshua Granada(left) and Carlos Tavarez are photographed in front of Station 7 Firehouse in Orlando, FL. On the night of the massacre at Pulse, a gay club in Downtown Orlando, Carlos and Joshua were the first paramedics to arrive on the scene.

More info @ http://ift.tt/2sFSSfY

Automated post from Hancock Law Firm, PLLC – http://ift.tt/2jz9Oj9

Looks like the “giant penis defense” worked.

Posted on , updated on by Autumn N. Hancock, Esq.

Man who claimed girlfriend accidentally choked during oral sex found not guilty of murder

Richard Patterson acquitted by jury hours after hearing closing arguments

By Peter Burke – Local10.com Managing Editor, Michael Seiden – Reporter

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – A South Florida man who was on trial in the 2015 choking death of his girlfriend has been found not guilty of murder.

Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate, was acquitted Monday of second-degree murder. His attorney, Ken Padowitz, argued during trial that his client accidentally choked Francisca Marquinez, 60, during oral sex.

The jury heard closing arguments in the morning and deliberated for a few hours in the afternoon before returning the verdict.

Patterson did not testify. Instead, the defense called on Dr. Ronald Wright, a former Broward County medical examiner, who said it was possible that Marquinez could have choked during oral sex.

Padowitz told jurors that the medical examiner’s autopsy report said the manner of death was undetermined.

Assistant state attorney Peter Sapak questioned why Patterson didn’t call 911 right away and reminded jurors of testimony from an ex-girlfriend, who said he told her that he choked Marquinez. He also re-read a text message that Patterson’s daughter said she sent him to him the day after Marquinez was killed.

The jury heard closing arguments in the morning and deliberated for a few hours in the afternoon before returning the verdict.

Patterson did not testify. Instead, the defense called on Dr. Ronald Wright, a former Broward County medical examiner, who said it was possible that Marquinez could have choked during oral sex.

Padowitz told jurors that the medical examiner’s autopsy report said the manner of death was undetermined.

Assistant state attorney Peter Sapak questioned why Patterson didn’t call 911 right away and reminded jurors of testimony from an ex-girlfriend, who said he told her that he choked Marquinez. He also re-read a text message that Patterson’s daughter said she sent him to him the day after Marquinez was killed.